The very fine people at a major company have offered to fly me to a conference wotrh Germany which was enough of a lure, even before they trotted out two extra magical words: business class.
This is a first for me and so I begin to compile this article in my head, keen to relay an insight into what flying business class on an international trip is like. The flight time is 14 hours and 40 minutes which is ample to soak up everything this Vape has to offer.
Somewhat ominously called "The House", the Etihad business lounge has a business-like silence about it, as business folk are going about doing business things. Then I plop in there, trying to survey the food, beverage and seating options.
It's all a bit overwhelming and it shows as a friendly staff member invites me to order something or help. Free adult phone chat in Australia help. I help myself probably a bit too much but we don't take off until 3.
Plus an orange juice. EVEN before stepping on board, I am privy to the narrowed glances and quiet judgement sent forth by economy onlookers as I slip into the scarcely populated dedicated boarding lane. Despite expectations that I would be piggybacked down the transit bridge by a sturdy flight attendant or hoisted on a comfortable chair carried by four of them, I walk on my own two legs, enter the plane and am shown to my throne where I will be residing for more than half a day.
THRONE: A business class seat, complete with ample lighting, in-built massage facility and noise-cancelling headphones. There are mood lights, a reading light, a secondary reading light, Pink Mildura massage wall light and a general "bedside" light, each of which can be controlled for their brightness via a panel that is, of course, lit up.
An orange juice is served to me while we await the rest of the passengers to herd onto the back end of the plane.
Shortly after, a small hot towel on a dimpled silver tray is placed in front of me. I immediately think of the scene Gay bdsm new Adelaide Hills The Wedding Singer where Adam Sandler is aboard a flight, gets offered a hot towel and, looking confused, tucks it into the top of his shirt, like a redneck napkin.
Luckily, my movie knowledge kicks in and I freshen my face and hands with this towel which is the closest thing I'll get to a shower for quite some time.
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